Release the thoughts


When I was blushing the toilet, one question came up to my mind.
“My hobby is cleaning”. “Cleaning is my hobby”.
What is the difference between the two?
The speaker will say the former one as an answer against the question; “What is your hobby?” In that case, hobbies are the topic.
On the other hand, the latter is more likely to be used when they talk about cleaning.

I concluded that way. The question and answer were given only in my mind.
Maybe, it was because I had no one to talk with. If there had been someone else, would I have spoken to that person? I don’t know. Actually, when I face to someone else, questions like that fade out from my thoughts. These are too small, unimportant questions to ask anyone.

I’ve spent alone almost all the time in this weekend.
Being alone is not so bad. Time goes by really peacefully. I can do everything when I want.
I got up with the sunrise, washed my face, had breakfast, then, went out for a jog. Running at my own pace, I felt I was living my own life.
After jogging, I cleaned up my room and washed my clothes. It’s my routine. In this morning, I found all the buttons on my apron almost coming off. Sewing them onto the places as they should be brought me a positive feeling. Satisfaction, comfort, happiness, like that.
I feel the same way in cleaning the room, brushing the toilet or washing dishes. They are my routines as well as hobbies.

While I am doing housework, sometimes I speak to myself. Sometimes in Russian, another time, I use sign language. I ask myself questions, then, try to answer them by myself.
While reading, I look for answers whose questions once raised up to my thought. There are also many questions that I’ve missed the chances even to ask. Never found their answers, these questions are almost forgotten. Even though I don’t know what the questions are whose answers I am seeking for, I expect to happen to meet the answer in a book,

How many books have I read for the last two days? – Four.
How many questions came up to my mind? And, how many answers did I found?- No idea.

It’s really difficult to count the number of these questions and answers. They raised up and fade out as I exhale and inhale. While being alone, my thought has no shape. I just enjoy thinking like floating over the river. I don’t know where my thoughts are going. In that case, I don’t need anyone who answer the questions. I need the time to be alone when my thoughts are released.
And, cleaning the room and reading books seem to be the ways to release my thoughts.